I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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