using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize