Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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