can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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