I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize