that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
