Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
