so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
