So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My first STD was from a foam party
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
