We named our party play list daddy issues
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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