Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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