Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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