She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
