Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Randomize
