They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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