sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
