What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
