After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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