Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
