I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
