he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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