okay pat passed out under dana's car
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
