Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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