I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
