Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
