You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
