As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
They have beer where we have blood.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize