I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
A+ Viking dick
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
