Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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