We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
