she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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