new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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