you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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