You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
