I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
