Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
