I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
