What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
