you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
