i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
where does the pee come out of this thing
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize