Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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