There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Send help, water and tortillas.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
