Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Please, let me fuck your mom
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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