She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
