So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
why do cheetos always look like penises
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
