Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
