My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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