make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
