Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Fuck appropriateness.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
