he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize