very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
