I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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