You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
