I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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