Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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