I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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