I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
