I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
