I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
