So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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