The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
