I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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