I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
