guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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