My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You are a genius and a whore.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize