i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
